The first few days and even month in a new location usually feels like a holiday, where everything is new and exciting and you are dying to explore your new surroundings. After about the 2nd month you start noticing that the people around you are very different from you - they have very different thoughts and opinions about life, how one should lead a life, how a life should be constructed and they may even start "sharing" criticism about the way you are doing it "wrong."
If you are lucky enough to have moved to a new place with someone else you like a lot (even love), it helps to smooth over those types of rough starts. It helps even more if you can understand and speak the local language before you arrive. It is much easier to ask for directions and advice when the local people can understand you.
Many couples move to new places due to work transfers, and one of the partners does not have authority to work in the new location. The working partner has colleagues and work to occupy his/her mind, while the other partner slowly starts down the road of "new country blues." Many relationships get into trouble due to the stresses involved with moving country, and many companies offer programs for the spouses/partners of expatriates, but not all couples are that lucky.
I have moved country three times now - twice with a partner, and once alone. I would like to offer some of my thoughts and ideas of things that have helped me through that tough "adaptation" period, which luckily (with me) does not seem to last longer than 8 months.
1. Eat well - make sure you get the nutrition your body needs and, if you are stressed, you may want to ensure you are getting enough Vitamin B.
2. Sleep well - jetlag is not uncommon at the start of living in a vastly different time zone, but try to get into a healthy sleep routine as soon as possible. The world seems a different place if you have had your rest.
3. Get exercise - get the blood moving. Go for walks at least three times a week or workout if you are able to.
4. Get outside and be with people. If you are by yourself in a new country, staring at the walls of your house/apartment can be quite daunting at times. Grab a coat (when necessary) and go out to places where people gather. Go to a coffee shop or a pub or any public place where you physically lay eyes on people. It helps to get you feeling connected.
5. Stay spiritually connected to your beliefs. It is important to have a spiritual belief system that you draw your strength from. It gives you hope in the dark times. If you cannot find others who believe as you do, make an effort to practice your own spiritual rituals and habits by yourself or in nature. Meditation has done wonders to help me find internal peace.
6. Take care of your basic surroundings - clean, do laundry. When you get down it is easy to let things slide, and it does not take long for a household to get downright messy. Clean up and keep the place tidy, even if you don't feel like it. Walking into and being in a clean place is much more supportive of a positive perspective than the alternative.
7. Stay in touch with people who care about you - and let them know if you need extra love/support. Some people have difficulty asking for help. It is very important that you recognize when you are getting more down than usual. Contact your friends and family, talk about your experience and soak in their love and support. If needed, make the effort to find a professional person in your area that you can talk to.
8. Cry when you feel like it - it releases endorphins, which help you cope. Even if you are afraid your tears will never stop, try it. It does heal a lot of emotional aches and pains.
9. Write your thoughts down to get it out of your head. Start a blog if you are internet savvy, or write in a paper and ink diary. Whatever your preference, find a way to express your thoughts and emotions as you go through the adaptation.
10. Get involved. Look for opportunities to do volunteer work in areas that matter to you. Taking care of others or doing things for others is another sure way to forget about your own troubles, even if only for a few hours.
It is undeniably hard to adapt to a new place, and it is almost certain that you will experience some sort of "adaptation blues." You need an adaptation strategy and it is good to know upfront what awaits and how you are planning to cope with it. Everybody is unique in finding activities that give them energy. If you know about this "dip" and you plan for it, you can probably have a much easier time adapting to your new place.
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