When I lived in Hong Kong I spoke to an Old China Hand, someone who had lived in Asia for many years, and I asked him what advice he could offer a new arrival. What mistakes had he made? What would he do differently if he had his time again? His one recommendation to me was to enrol my children in a local Chinese speaking school. He said that his children had lived in Hong Kong for twenty years and, even though they had move back to England, they felt that Hong Kong was their hometown. The problem was that they could not speak the local language because they had only studied in English schools. They were effectively disenfranchised from the local population. It was a catch twenty-two. They were English yet felt Chinese even though they could not speak Chinese because they had always gone to English speaking schools.

The next day I enrolled my two youngest children in a local school. No English was spoken except for a weekly lesson. The children were thrown in at the deep end and had to converse in Mandarin during the day (the language of Mainland China) or else they could speak Cantonese in the playground. We stayed there for nearly one year until I moved them back to an international school.

What went wrong?

Basically there were a number of cultural difference that I found hard to come to terms with. The ability to pick up a language is a great thing whilst living overseas but the methods used by this particular school were so fundamentally different to my expectations that I found it difficult to reconcile my expectations with the reality of the schooling.

I found the local school system was very rigid. There was a formality and strictness that, as a parent, I was not sure about. Rather than enjoying the school experience it was seen as an entry to future life. If the children did well at kindergarten, they could be accepted into the right (selective) primary school, if they did well there, they could be accepted into the right (selective) high school, the right university, the right job. Children faced a very intense academic learning experience and were tutored very early on about how to handle themselves in interviews (from the age of 2). They were taught additional classes before school, after school and on weekends. My own approach for my children was less on pushing them through academic hurdles and more on how well they were enjoying the entire school experience, especially at a young age. Were they making friends? Were they fitting in? Were they enjoying their time at school?

I was also concerned about the way that the children were taught - at this particular school there was a strong system of bribery based on handing out sweets and candies during the day. If a student did as they were told, they were given a sweet and, over the course of the day, the good children were given many, many sweets. I would have preferred my children to learn because they were keen to learn and were inspired, rather than because they were bribed.

What else? There were few pictures on the walls and little art-work and craft. At the age of five my son had somewhere between 45 minutes to an hour of homework each night. My daughter had twenty minutes and corporal punishment was permitted.

This may sound like a negative experience but my own experience may have been unique - I don't believe it was, though. Within this particular school there were about 12 western children and over the course of a year we all left. There were some benefits academically but socially, I was concerned about the different approaches each cultures had to the educational experience of school.

Think hard about socialising your children in this way. Some differences may be too much to contend with and picking up the language can often be easier in a less stressful environment. It is a matter for each family to decide depending on their expectations, background and experiences of schooling in the past.

My personal solution was to move them to an international school. It was a better decision for us as school became more enjoyable and their motivation for learning changed. They integrated better within a still very strong multicultural environment but the best part was that school became fun again. Fundamentally these are decisions that you will have to make if you are a parent - heed both sides of the argument and do your best.

My only advice would be to be open to the possibility that your children may enjoy a different schooling experience but also be receptive if they don't

Amanda Olsson has been an expatriate most of her life and lived in Asia for 7 years.

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