Returning to live in Australia, particularly if you have been living elsewhere for more than five years, can be extremely challenging. The range of resources for Australian Expatriates living overseas and returning to Australia is slowly increasing...but like many moves, you need to prepare for the challenges.

1) Where should I live?

Returning to the 'family home' because it is 'rent free' is probably not a good choice. If you are accustomed to a fast paced independent lifestyle, then returning to a home in the suburbs without a car to get you out will reduce your chances of re-exploring. You may be wanting to 'escape' the frantic pace of the past, enjoy that on the weekend. If you ease the transition and find that it is still not 'quiet' enough, then you can move to the country and really slow down some more. But a sudden stop for an active brain can be difficult.

2) Friendships - I am different - do I need new ones?

It will be great fun to catch up with old friends and see in a visual sense how you have all changed. The novelty may wear off in five minutes. When they suggest that you all sit down and watch a television program together, you may be shocked! I know that sitting through an entire episode of a sensationalist local current affairs television program is a real challenge for someone with an international perspective on life!

So try and organise 'quick coffee' visits (so you can escape without embarrassment) or see multiple people at once, and create a list of those people that you will choose to keep as an active part of your life. This doesn't mean that you will abandon old friends and family, but you do need to find people that you relate to - because if you don't you will be quietly frustrated throughout every visit.

You also have the opportunity to make some new friends - just like you did when you moved to a new location in the past. Ask yourself, where will I find the types of people I like to mix with? Then do what you can to find these people - and make sure you can reach them quickly and easily by car or public transport. There are many cognitively diverse people in every location - they may not always be within your existing network of contacts. Ask the people you know if they know anyone else who has lived in your previous location.

3) Why did I move - for my own reasons or someone else's?

Look at the 'real' reasons for your move back to a past location - are they yours or someone else's? And is this a way of avoiding issues that you must deal with? If you are returning to take care of elderly relatives, are you doing it out of guilt - something you wish you had done or didn't do? Is it time to 'mend fences' and let people know more about you and what you want from life? If you feel you are being selfish travelling the world, ask yourself why?

Do you keep in touch whilst you are away? Some people who live close to their relatives and friends contact people less frequently than those who live thousands of kilometres away. Ask yourself what these relatives and friends want for you? If being away is the only way you can be happy, so be it. We all make choices in life...I find that they are easier to live with if you consciously know that they are YOUR choices and not someone else's or what you perceive to be the 'right thing to do.'

4) Do you have unfinished business in your past location?

Ask if you are 'ready' for change. Part of you, if you did not prepare, may still be 'left' in your previous location - especially if you either left quickly or were busy right up until your departure. It is important to 'close' that chapter before opening a new one. Not erase it, but accept it as 'past' and this as 'present.' Then each part of your life is part of you - you are not stuck in some other place. Also consider if there have been other significant events in your life recently - a broken relationship, a serious health concern or a change in your employment.

There may be ways that you can bring your past with you. Perhaps there are little traditions that you would now like to include in your life in Australia - regular activities, rituals or celebrations. Enjoying similar foods can be a great comfort. Being able to share your stories is critical. I have often heard of people saying 'it is like the last 10 years never happened.' This is because if you don't have an opportunity to share those stories, particularly if they relate to shared experiences, it can seem like a very lonely existence. If you can't find a friend, find a counsellor. Not only will they listen, they can provide processes that will help you move on in life.

If your identity is closely tied with your occupation, it may be a double loss when you move. If you know what career you are seeking, find a good mentor and a good advocate. These people will refer you directly to people that can make use of your skills and experience. If you are unsure and are considering a career change, speak to a career advisor, again, to help you make choices that are right for you. Old friends may not have the best advice!

5) Time - a commodity we undervalue

Give yourself a reasonable transition time - I would suggest a minimum of six months, but most likely up to three years. When you return, you will probably want to do everything slowly and quickly both at the same time! Allow plenty of time to sort out your possessions, have fun and work/look for work. If you are only looking for work and it is not successful and you haven't had any fun (even if you have to spend a little bit of money), then life will not be good - in any location. If you are feeling overwhelmed or uncomfortable, that is a sure sign that you need something else or something extra or that you need to examine personal concerns more thoroughly. Ask yourself 'what is it?' and find a strategy that will help you get it.

6) Take risks - you did previously!

Take some risks. In your previous location, when you had a regular income, you probably just 'did' things, it is important to continue doing this, even if you are not sure about your future, it will keep your confidence levels high and inspire you in new ways. Be creative and find new ways to test your abilities and conquer your fears.

7) Permission to be you - a gift you can give yourself

Give yourself permission to be who you are. We all reach an age and stage in life when it is time to be 'you.' Sure, some people will like it. Some won't. Who cares? If you are not harming others, doing something illegal or putting yourself in danger, ask yourself if you can live with the consequences. If your behaviour offends someone you have known for a long time, ask yourself how you feel about that.

If you believe your behaviour is reasonable, then that automatically suggests they are 'unreasonable' (in your view) and you may find that you don't really want to maintain regular contact with that person. Give yourself permission to audit your possessions as well as your 'friends.' Maybe this is the time you need to find new friends for this time in your life. Even if you remain in one location, work and life changes mean that different people are a part of your life at different times.

Summary

Many of these ideas and questions probably seem a bit nebulous, a bit airy-fairy. You may be surprised by their potency. Take a few moments to reflect on where you have been and where you would like to go. Just like you did when you first moved away from Australia, there was a lot to do. It is no different when you return - and from an emotional sense, you may either have more or less 'baggage' with you. Baggage in itself is not harmful. I rather like carrying my experience and past opportunities with me - because they give my current journey meaning and relevance. For some people, it is just not possible to return to a past location - I certainly have no intentions of ever doing it. But then I only moved within my own country, not across the other side of the world - so I still have access to the friendships, experiences and opportunities that I enjoyed previously.

I trust that this article will grant you some peace. A realisation that it is perfectly okay to feel the way that you do. There is no need to conform to the 'old you.' But if you want to make a successful repatriation, there is quite a bit of work to be done...and if you need help, ask for it. It can be as exciting and exhilarating as any other location, particularly if you meet the right people to share it with. It can also be lonely and confronting and your immediate reaction may be to return. Sometimes this is also necessary - just remember that is also another repatriation experience.

The Newcomers Network website (http://www.newcomersnetwork.com) provides more advice, articles and research on Australian Expatriates and Repatriates and is the moderator for the International Australians Yahoo Group which provides an archive of articles on this topic http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/internationalaustralians/