An international move and adjusting to life in a new country is frustrating, tiring and very stressful at times.

We have to deal with the red tape, learning new ways of getting things done and creating a different routine. It's normal to experience a rollercoaster of emotions as we cope with all the changes; concentrate hard on what's happening around us; handle home sickness; confront uncertainty and try to communicate with people who just don't "get it" - or "us"!

Just as the rollercoaster of emotions is normal, the need to vent is normal too!

The good news is that VENTING IS GOOD for us. It is the healthy choice, rather than keeping in negative emotions that can ferment and rush to the surface later. Better a geyser now than a volcano next week!

Letting out our frustrations and tension allows us to move forward.

The Solution

Create a healthy and safe venting environment for yourself.

Val's Words of Caution

Remember that the goal is to feel better, not worse afterwards. Avoid "the morning after" vent when we regret what we did.

Here are some examples of what not to do:

- Venting to the check out person at the supermarket may have consequences. Are we prepared to risk the embarrassment and never be able to go back there again?

- Venting to your partner as soon as you or they walk in the door may add to stress at home, rather than alleviate it. Remember they are also going through their own adjustment and stress - are they ready to hear more?

- Venting to a colleague at work. It's unlikely to put us on the fast track for promotion. So obvious...but it has been known to happen in my experience.

- Calling our parents and sharing our burdens may make us feel better in the short term, but could make them feel helpless to help, or worse, it could open the door to the "I told you so" attitude.

Val's Tips for Creating a Healthy and Safe Venting Environment

1. Be aware when you feel that internal rumble starting to rise.

2. Put your frustrations down in writing first - this may be enough to release the tension and allow you to move on.

3. If this isn't enough try exercise and laughter to get those endorphins pumping. (Better to take it out in the gym than on an unfortunate pedestrian on a foreign street).

4. When you need to talk choose the individual to vent to.

5. Forewarn the person and get their agreement. A simple "I need a good vent - are you up for it?" can work.

6. Vent to someone who has 'been there' and wants you to succeed. An experienced positive expat or a coach.

Feel free to forward this tip to a friend or organization, providing you include full authorship and subscription information, of course.

If you wish to subscribe to EXPAT SMARTS then please send an email to Val@MyGlobalCoach.com

And finally ....if you have some funny "what-not-to-do" stories, advice for other expats, or want to hear more about how coaching can make a real difference, then I would love to hear from you.

Cheers!

Val

Val Boyko Global Coach and Intercultural Specialist On the web at www.MyGlobalCoach.com "I coach people heading in new directions, in the world, career and life".

Val Boyko is a Scot and an American, cross cultural facilitator and professional coach. In 1991 she gave up her management career to move to the Philadelphia area as a "trailing" spouse. As a consultant and coach, she has trained and supported hundreds of families moving around the world. She is a graduate of Coach University, a member of the Society of Intercultural Education And Research, and the International Coach Federation.