Joe Wilson is Chief Evangelist at bunq, an entrepreneur and a seasoned expat who has moved across seven countries with his wife and four children. Drawing on his international experiences, he shares the joys and challenges of raising a family abroad, navigating unfamiliar systems and building a life across borders.
Where, when and why did you move abroad?
My wife, Jules, and I have moved with our four children across seven countries: India, France, Indonesia, Portugal, the UK, a short stint in South America, and the US on three separate occasions. We’d travelled on our own before the kids came, and we wanted them to have the same experiences. We got a bit addicted. We love cultures that aren’t ours, and we like being uncomfortable. Most moves were our own decision, not a company relocation, so we figured it out on the other end, including the practical side. Today we still manage banking, investing and real estate across four countries.
What challenges did you face during the move?
- Language is the constant. You’re live-translating everything, and legal and immigration documents are never in your language. Somehow, in every country, one of the kids needed the health system, which is quite an experience when you don’t speak the language.
- Another problem is that nobody warns you about the circular problems either: no account without an address, no address without an account. Sometimes bureaucracy can cost you a month in time.
- The social side was harder still. You leave your friends behind and start with none, which is tough on the kids too. Surprisingly, our hardest move was back to the US after about ten years away. We thought we knew the culture, but we had changed.
What do you enjoy most about life in your new country?
Being taught the nuances of a culture by the people who live it. In India, women in a park pinched our kids’ cheeks, which we didn’t know was a gesture of good luck, and a stranger on a bench spent 20 to 30 minutes explaining it. Another time, at a hospital, people kept insisting we go to the front of the line because guests come first. It made us uncomfortable, because they were too kind, not because we felt unsafe.
What is the hardest part of expat life for you and your family?
Starting over every time: new school, new faces, finding a community, plus the administration and immigration paperwork. We used to carry a printed binder of legal documents.
With a family there’s also the money side: two incomes in different currencies, shared bills in a third, school and activity costs you can’t predict because you don’t know the system yet. The upside is that you get good at starting over. After a while you land, get to work on the hard things, and find work you enjoy, though that sometimes takes a while.
What is your relationship like with locals and other expats?
You expect to befriend other expats, and we did form small groups of fellow Americans. But we preferred the locals. Many expats were there for a year or two with a narrow goal, like a promotion. The ones we connected with were there to experience the world, as we were. My best friends in the Netherlands are Dutch. My tip: find your passion and you’ll find your tribe. I played competitive squash and went climbing, so I’d find partners at a club and friendships grew from the shared interest.
What advice would you give to someone thinking of making a similar move?
Moving countries is like having a baby: if you wait until you can afford it, you’ll never do it. Don’t be afraid to do it with kids. Ours are unique among their peers, they feel part of the world, and they see everyone as equal.
And sort the practical basics early, ideally before you land. Get your documents in order, work out how you’ll get a local address and bank account, and set up one clear structure for shared money, including a separate pot for each child. I’m biased because I work at bunq, but choose a bank that works across borders so you don’t get stuck in the bureaucratic loop.
