Relocating abroad can be one of the most exciting—and most testing—experiences a couple can share. Whether you’re pursuing a new career, craving adventure, or seeking a better quality of life, moving to another country opens the door to countless possibilities. But alongside the thrill of change, expat life can place real strain on even the strongest relationships.
In fact, emotional and relational challenges are among the most common difficulties reported by expats, according to InterNations’ Expat Insider survey. Cultural adjustments, shifting roles, and feelings of social isolation can all contribute to friction. The good news? With preparation, empathy, and strong communication, couples can not only weather these challenges—they can come out stronger. Here are some practical, research-backed strategies to help protect your relationship abroad, along with resources for extra support when you need it.
Understand the Impact of Relocation on Relationships
Every couple’s situation is unique, but international moves tend to surface some common relationship stressors. These include culture shock, disconnection from support systems, career disruption, financial strain, and power imbalances around who is working and who is not.
If one partner adapts faster—finding work, building social ties, or picking up the local language—this can leave the other feeling left behind. Likewise, when one partner feels like they’ve sacrificed more to make the move work, tension may build.
Trailing spouses often face identity loss, particularly if their own career or social life is put on hold. Recognizing and openly discussing these realities early on can prevent issues from festering.
Communicate with Intention
Good communication is the foundation of a healthy relationship—and it becomes even more critical when you’re navigating life in a new country. Whether you’re facing language barriers, culture shock, or shifting routines, the way you talk to each other shapes how well you adapt together.
Here are a few evidence-based tips to help keep communication strong:
- Schedule regular relationship check-ins. Don’t rely on casual daily chats alone. Set aside intentional time to share frustrations, joys, and changes you’re experiencing. This helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures both partners feel heard and supported.
- Use non-blaming language. Instead of reacting emotionally, try phrasing concerns around your own experience. For example, say “I feel overwhelmed” rather than “You never help.” This approach invites collaboration instead of defensiveness.
- Show daily kindness and empathy. Small gestures—a shared laugh, a compliment, a cup of tea—help create a sense of emotional safety. As Psychology Today notes, emotionally intelligent communication isn’t just about solving problems; it’s about building a culture of care.
- Explore trusted relationship tools. The Gottman Institute offers practical exercises and resources based on decades of research into what makes relationships thrive, especially under stress.
Respect Each Other’s Adjustment Curve
It’s unlikely that you’ll both adapt at the same pace. One of you might feel energized by the new environment, while the other feels anxious, homesick, or isolated. This divergence can lead to frustration—especially if one partner starts to view the other as “dragging them down.” But emotional adjustment isn’t a competition. Patience, empathy, and encouragement are key.
Rather than insisting on doing everything together, support each other in building personal routines. That might mean joining a local gym, signing up for a language course, or finding a creative outlet. Independent activities foster self-worth and can reduce the pressure on your relationship to provide all emotional fulfilment.
Websites like Meetup and Eventbrite offer opportunities to meet people and connect locally. Duolingo and Babbel can also help with language learning, boosting confidence and independence.
Rebalance Responsibilities
Relocation often disrupts household roles and financial arrangements. A partner who once worked full-time may become a stay-at-home spouse due to visa restrictions or limited job opportunities. The person who speaks the local language may become the default problem-solver. Over time, this can lead to unspoken resentment.
To avoid imbalance, openly revisit how responsibilities are shared. Who handles budgeting? Who deals with local bureaucracy? Who takes the lead on social plans or childcare? You don’t need strict equality in every task, but you do need mutual recognition of effort. If one person is earning money while the other is managing daily logistics, both roles should be valued.
Budgeting together is also important. You might find tools like You Need A Budget (YNAB) or Splitwise useful for tracking expenses. Couple Money also offers a range of practical tips for managing money as a couple, especially when one income is paused during relocation. For expats working remotely or independently, Nomad Capitalist offers guidance on structuring finances and international tax planning.
Prioritize Couple Time and Shared Goals
When you’re juggling culture shock, new jobs, or parenting challenges, it’s easy to fall into a pattern of co-managing your lives instead of genuinely connecting. Over time, your relationship can start to feel more like a business partnership than a romantic bond.
That’s why it’s vital to carve out time specifically for the two of you—without distractions.
Set regular date nights, even if it’s just a walk through your neighborhood or a home-cooked meal. Celebrate small victories: navigating a new public transport system, handling your first conversation in the local language, or making a local friend. A relationship “bucket list” can be a fun way to create shared goals—list out places you want to visit, foods to try, or experiences unique to your host country.
Keeping your original “why” in focus—the motivation behind your move—helps during difficult moments. It’s easier to handle short-term discomfort when it aligns with long-term shared purpose.
What If You’re Long-Distance?
Not all expat couples relocate together. Sometimes one partner moves ahead for work or study, while the other stays behind to tie up commitments. Long-distance relationships bring their own challenges—especially across time zones—but they can still thrive with intentional effort.
Apps like Marco Polo and Between help couples stay connected visually and emotionally throughout the day. Services like Time Zone Ninja can assist with scheduling calls when you’re far apart.
Most importantly, make plans for your next visit or reunion. Having a timeline for being together again gives your long-distance connection a sense of direction and reassurance.
Love Without Borders
Moving abroad is not just a test of logistics—it’s a test of love, flexibility, and growth. While it undoubtedly comes with challenges, expat life can deepen your connection if approached with curiosity, compassion, and open communication. By checking in with each other regularly, supporting individual adjustment, sharing responsibilities fairly, and making space for joy, your relationship can flourish—even thousands of miles from home. After all, the strength of your bond doesn’t depend on your location—it depends on how you show up for one another, wherever life takes you. For more advice and tips from other expats, join the Expat Focus Facebook communities at expatfocus.com/facebook-groups.